(NaturalNews) For your amusement, I thought today would be a great time to publish “The Everyday Sheeple’s Guide to Self-Delusion.”

It’s sort of the opposite of Napoleon Hill’s famous book, “Think and Grow Rich” … it’s more like “Stop Thinking and Lose Everything.” And that makes it perfect for all the everyday sheeple living in Obama’s mass media fairy tale that pretends everything is awesome!

For those who are informed Natural News readers, see if you can catch your delusional family members and friends engaging in any of these hilarious strategies of self-delusion:

#1) It’s only “paper losses”

What’s so hilarious about this excuse is that when the markets are going up, nobody says, “It doesn’t count, it’s only PAPER GAINS.”

Only when markets go down do they magically revert to “paper” in the minds of the sheeple being slaughtered.

The lesson we all need to learn from this is that market gains are never real until you CASH OUT. Thus, people who look at stock values and think they’re gaining money are kidding themselves. It isn’t money until you sell!

#2) Every market drop is simply a “buying opportunity”

In the same way that every high-speed vehicular crash on the highway is just “an opportunity to get a new car,” every market crash is deemed to be a real gem of a “buying opportunity.”

Yes, indeed, the market has discounted itself solely for your benefit, sort of like a Dow Jones discount day just to take it easy on the little guy, you see. Because markets operate mostly on compassion and kindness, didn’t ya know?

#3) I might as well hold onto the stock I already own, because the losses have already happened

Somehow, when facing the question of, “Should I sell now?” some people strangely come to the conclusion that whatever the current price is, that’s the right price to hold.

Where does this twisted logic come from? Mostly from the delusional self-talk that says you must be smart to HOLD the stock, because you were smart enough to BUY it, and you probably can’t be wrong, right?

People who think this way always ride the stock all the way to the bottom, and then they sell it out of desperation. “Buy high, sell low” has never been more pathetically predictable.

#4) It’s all China’s fault!

Suddenly we have a new scapegoat to blame: It’s China!

Yep, the U.S. market is so strong and founded in asset integrity that the mere flicker of overseas markets can cause “crash ripples” to take it down virtually overnight.

This argument neglects to consider the fact that U.S. investors created a bubble market all by themselves, no help from China needed.

#5) I still have a few years remaining before retirement, and by that time, the market will surely recover

This line of logic imagines that losses don’t count TODAY because they will be restored at some future imaginary date far into the future.

It conveniently skips over the obvious point that if you sold your stocks before the crash and then bought stocks after the corrections settled, you’d skip all the financial hemorrhaging and put yourself years ahead of schedule for your retirement savings.

#6) My investment adviser knows what he’s doing, so I have nothing to worry about

Chances are, unless your investment advisor has structured protections for you that insulate you against sudden losses, he really doesn’t know what he’s doing. That’s why he’s so broke that he has to take a percentage of your investment money as his primary source of income even when he loses your money!

And you know why that’s his business model? Because if he were compensated only for market gains, he’d be bankrupt!

I’ve always found it hilarious how some people pay other people to lose money for them, and then they call those people “investment advisors.” (Real investment advisors help REDUCE your risk, not increase it!)

#7) The Fed will step in with some quantitative easing and restore the market to its full value

The only reason the market is down is because it’s being artificially suppressed, this reasoning goes. The “real” value is always the highest imaginable value, and that value will be “restored” once the Fed steps in with a wave of fiat currency money printing.

Yeah, because fake currency is precisely the thing from which real value is derived, didn’t you know?

#8) Stock prices are only falling because of pessimism and doom from a few individuals who keep talking about market crashes

You heard that right: Fundamentals have nothing to do with it!

When markets go up, we’re told, it’s because the economy is strong and Obama is amazing. But when markets go down, it’s the fault of those dang pessimists! Merely TALKING about a market correction makes it happen, apparently.

The U.S. economy is so strong that it can recover from anything, but it’s simultaneously so weak that it can be destroyed by the mere mention of a market correction. Wow.

#9) The professional investors are telling me the market will recover, and they’re the experts!

Oh, you mean the “professional investors” who didn’t see this crash coming?

…The ones who never warned you that the market would suddenly plummet and lose thousands of points to the shock of everyone?

Yeah, those “professional investors” are really in the know! Obviously! You should totally listen to them. No doubt they’re the ones telling you this is merely a “buying opportunity” (see point #2, above).

#10) The market won’t crash because Obama wants to keep it strong until the 2016 election

This delusional excuse presumes that government has unlimited control over the market. While government can manipulate it for a very long time, even its ability to elevate junk investments into the financial loftosphere of wishful daydreaming eventually hits a brick wall.

If the government could exercise total control over the market, then why do we need price fluctuations at all? The government could just set the centrally planned prices for all stocks and force them to trade at the values it demands.

Once that’s in place, the market can keep going up forever by the sheer force of government decree… even if no one can afford to invest in it.

That’s the solution! It’s time for the government to nationalize the stock exchange and take over all investments in order to protect the citizens! After all, the government loves you and wants to take care of you. So why shouldn’t it take care of your investments, too?

Thanks for reading! Be sure to share “The Everyday Sheeple’s Guide to Self-Delusion” with others who need to be reminded to stop sniffing the financial glue and start thinking with some financial clarity for a change.

Written by Mike Adams
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