The news in brief from Obama:
A man in Canada shot and killed a religious figure who was demonstrating his profound commitment to the “religion of peace” by waging war on people not as dedicated to peaceful coexistence as Islamists are, namely those intolerant Canadians.
The man, so-called Sergeant-at-Arms Kevin Vickers, shot and killed the man performing his religious duty of jihad. It’s unclear how Vickers obtained a gun under Canada’s strict handgun laws.
Police are investigating.
In related news a hatchet-wielding man, also a member of the religion of peace, attacked police officers in New York City. The city originally said it didn’t believe that the attack by the convert to Islam, who was subsequently shot and killed by police, had any connection to terrorism.
“When asked if the unprovoked attack was tied to terrorism or to recent calls by radicals to attack military and police officers,” reports CNN, “[New York City Police Commissioner Bill] Bratton said, ‘there is nothing we know as of this time that would indicate that were the case,’ and a senior law enforcement official told CNN on Friday that investigators do not believe that Thompson, a Muslim convert, was driven by any radical Islamic views.”
The dead man’s incendiary postings to Facebook calling for a religious ceremonial war against those people not as dedicated to peaceful coexistence as Islamists are, namely those intolerant New York City Police Officers, are likely just coincidental.
The Obama administration has called the incident a “wilderness accident.”
“Hatchets are the third leading cause of rage in the wilderness,” says one Department of Justice official who was too busy destroying hard drives prior to his upcoming book deal as he departs the administration to be identified.
And since we’re on the topic -– we weren’t, but it makes a good segue–I just want to thank the brave people from the Obama administration for reading your emails and listening to your cellphone calls so that we can stop those lone-wolf attacks from intolerant people like police officers and sergeants-at-arms interfering with the religion of peace’s sacred duty of tolerating the rest of us.
Oh, and don’t get me started on how thankful I am that the Ebola thing has been handled so adroitly by the most transparent administration in history.–
So transparent, in fact, that Obama’s been putting himself out front, tying his great successes to candidates who don’t want to be seen with him.