Isn’t it fascinating how the mainstream media is instructing people what to ask their family members this Thanksgiving? As usual, the questions they pose are all about promoting a specific political narrative, such as asking your hosts whether they “own guns” (with the presumption being that it’s bad if they do).
To counter the complete idiocy of the mainstream media’s mind-numbing conversation starters, I’m proposing a much more useful list of eye-opening questions you might consider asking family members this Thanksgiving… or not, depending on how much you want to get along with them.
One disclaimer, though: Don’t blame me if this is the last Thanksgiving you have with some of your family members.
#1) Is there MSG in that turkey gravy?
The very best way to make friends at Thanksgiving is to start questioning all the ingredients in the food you’re being served. An easy target to go after is the MSG (monosodium glutamate) that’s found in nearly all “gravy” mixes. I put “gravy” in quotes because it’s not really gravy at all if it’s from a mix. Real gravy comes from animal grease and doesn’t need any MSG because it tastes awesome all by itself. While you’re at it, check the turkey stuffing ingredients, too, because those products often contain MSG or yeast extract, a “hidden” form of MSG. Bottom line? Real friends make gravy out of animal grease, not store-bought powdered mixes. That’s just fake gravy, which people eat when they’re watching the fake news (CNN).
#2) Do you believe biological sex is determined by genetics, or by wishful thinking?
This is a real conversation starter. You’ll quickly find out how many of your family members no longer believe in biological cause and effect. If they believe that sex or gender can be changed with a wish, ask them why a person can’t wish they were 30 years younger, or a different ethnicity, or even a Tibetan Snow Leopard. There’s a Caucasian man in America who literally believes he’s a Filipino woman. I hope he’s not at your Thanksgiving dinner.
#3) Are you seriously serving unfiltered TAP water?
Here’s a Thanksgiving day favorite: Take a sip of the crappy, unfiltered tap water you’re being served by your clueless host and experience the chlorine high notes. Then ask your host, loudly in front of everyone else, “Are you seriously serving unfiltered TAP water?” Follow this with a full explanation of the toxic cancer-causing chemicals found in tap water, and be sure to cover the fact that municipal water treatment facilities don’t remove birth control chemicals, pharmaceuticals or agricultural pesticides from the water supply. This will make you extremely popular and get you invited back for Christmas dinner, too!
#4) If you don’t yet own a gun, WHY NOT?
It’s a crazy, dangerous world. Self-defense is a fundamental divine right that’s reflected throughout nature. Possessing a weapon of self-defense is, in essence, a perfect reflection of Mother Nature and the natural world of plants, animals, insects and even bacteria. Make sure you explain to your host that even beetles, bacteria and bamboo plants have self-defense characteristics, and humans should too. If they tell you they don’t “believe” in guns, arrogantly explain that the laws of kinetic physics don’t require “belief” in order to function. This will win you even more friends than you ever thought possible.
#5) What do Charlie Rose, Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, Louis C.K., Al Franken, Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey all have in common?
Aside from the fact that they all sexually harassed, abused or exploited women — or in some cases raped women — they all also happen to be left-wing liberals who publicly proclaimed their support for “women’s rights.” Nearly every one of them also supported Hillary Clinton for president. If you really want to bring out the love this Thanksgiving, bring up Hillary Clinton in the middle of, “Can you please pass the mashed potatoes?” Or, conversely, you can take a whack at Trump with a flippant remark such as, “Hey, did you notice the way this gravy spilled all over the mashed potatoes, it looks just like President Trump’s HAIR?”
#6) When family members describe how far they traveled to get there, remind them they’re all destroying the planet with climate change
In order to appease the climate alarmists, you must calculate the volume of carbon dioxide emitted by each family member as they drove or flew their way into town. Ask each person how many gallons of gas they burned, or how many miles they flew. Then insist they all purchase “carbon dioxide offset credits” which is, of course, exactly what world governments want to force nations to do. If they resist, remind them that if they don’t purchase offset credits, they are evil people who are destroying planet Earth. After all, that’s what the climate change people do.
#7) Bring some syringes and a vaccine vial, and demand everyone be vaccinated on site
To further win friends and influence people, bring a vaccine vial and some syringes, then demand that every person agree to be vaccinated on site, or else be labeled an “anti-vaxxer.” If they refuse to be vaccinated, scream at them relentlessly while labeling them, “ANTI-SCIENCE!” This is, of course, exactly what the vaccine industry does every day, usually in conjunction with the scientifically illiterate mainstream media. If your family members ask what the vaccine is for, just explain it’s for “Idiopathy,” which has a funny double meaning in medicine.
#8) If SHTF right now, what is your escape plan from this place?
A great way to put your relatives’ minds at ease is to start asking about their escape plans if a North Korean ICBM detonates an EMP weapon over America. You may have to educate your family members about EMP weapons, of course, since they probably don’t know anything about physics or electronics, but once you get through all that, ask them about their survival plans when the country’s power grid goes down. This is how you can turn a depressing Thanksgiving into a joy fest of love and uplifting hope.
#9) Ask everybody to disclose all the medications they’re taking, then remind them how medications don’t work
Here’s another amazing way to win friends: Ask people to name all the medications they’re taking, then explain why those medications don’t really work in the long run. Because people have a near-religious worship of their pharmaceuticals, this might get you kicked out onto the street, so you can always resort to the old what’s in the bathroom medicine cabinet trick to find out for yourself. Just remember: The more meds they’re on, the crazier they probably are to begin with, so use this approach only if you’re pretty sure you can overpower them in a mixed martial arts contest.
#10) Ask people what they want for Christmas, then condemn them as shallow “materialists”
Merely mentioning the word “Christmas” might get you disinvited from some households, but since you’re probably not going to win any popularity contests anyway, you might as well find out what people hope to acquire in terms of gifts. Whatever they tell you they want, condemn it as materialistic and shallow. Unless, of course, they say they want to “end climate change,” in which case you remind them how much fuel they burned to get there.
Lastly, to really get the conversation going, rustle up 15 – 20 illegal aliens — er, I mean undocumented immigrants — on your way to the gathering, then invite them all to the food table by demanding “NO BORDERS” for Thanksgiving dinner. This will very quickly determine how many progressives in your family actually believe what they are saying about no borders or boundaries.
Or you could say nothing and pretend to get along with incredibly uninformed people
Or, instead of all the above, you could laugh along with casual jokes, brain-dead political talk and senseless banter in the interests of getting along with people. After all, it’s Thanksgiving, and that’s a time to fake your way through the senseless conversation in the interests of peace and unity.
Obviously, much of what I’ve written here is offered in jest, but it’s very true that our readers tend to be the smartest people in any family gathering, so we all share this common experience of having to “downgrade” our conversation to the lowest common denominator in any given group. Sometimes, it’s a necessary thing for the sake of civility, but if you’re like most intelligent people, you can’t wait to get out of there and get back to work on the things that really matter.
As for myself, I’m fortunate to have a really tuned-in family who are all into prepping, holistic health and critical thinking. You can thank them for raising me with that same philosophy, by the way, which is an incredible gift compared to the dumbed-down upbringing too many children receive these days. I hope your family is as well-informed as mine, because that allows us to talk about prepping, holistic health, geopolitics and many other advanced subjects that run-of-the-mill audiences can’t fathom.